Technology TransactionsShould You Hire Your Spouse To Be Your Assistant?
Business can make for some strange bedfellows, especially among those that sleep together. There are successful husband and wife teams who work together beautifully and others who appear to bring out the worst in each other. What are the benefits vs. the pitfalls of working together?
One of the most successful women in the real estate industry is helped by her husband. Eleanor Mowery-Sheets, the number one salesperson for Coldwell Banker system-wide, was already a successful agent when she met and married Sheets, but his taking over certain aspects of her business helped catapult her earnings and performance into the stratosphere, where she regularly closes a transaction every four days. The Sheets approach is divide the labor and conquer, wherein he handles media relations, technology issues and personnel, and Mowery-Sheets directly interfaces with clients and customers.
But do all husband-wife teams operate so smoothly? A lot seems to depend on whether the spouse is perceived as an assistant or a working partner. In the Sheets case, the couple work as a team, with neither party taking the one-up or one-down position.
Other agents support this idea. When a subscriber to Joe Klock"s real estate newsletter wrote that she was considering hiring her husband an assistant, e-mails from managers and agents poured in with advice.
One respondent wrote, "I used to have my wife as my assistant and would recommend against it in 90% of situations. I work from my home office and find that I"m able to easily separate my work time from my play time (but) my spouse was too often concerned with household matters to concentrate fully on the business at hand. Even more than that, I really believe that it isn"t good for a relationship to spend all their time together."
Spousal partners pose some problems for managers who relate that discipline and productivity can be more of a problem with husband/wife teams.
One office manager writes, "I have managed this situation in a number of cases and have seen both the good and the bad. It can be beneficial if the spouses have defined duties to be performed by each. If they act more as partners, just covering each other, there are more problems. It"s hard to correct a spouse and treat him as staff, so the duties must be clearly defined and understood. Good consistent communication is the key. Pitfalls include the stress of an ineffective spouse and the need for someone to cover for vacations and family outings."
Another manager warns, "I have seen formerly successful agents have a spouse join them and failed three out of four times. The spouses are either both in charge and have differences about the methods used or are always joined at the hip. It does little good to have two people if they are both sharing the same brain. Two people can"t do twice the work unless they each do a different task at the same time, rather than both doing the one task together. And then there"s the thing about too much togetherness."
Togetherness seemed to pose a special set of concerns for some respondents who worried how much togetherness is too much?
"And then there is a thing about too much togetherness. Also, there"s no independent income, so the market better be good. If it dips, an independently-salaried spouse can step in, but if they"re working together, it"s a double whammy."
"It helps a ton to keep business in the family and we are always brainstorming about things to improve our business. The negative of that becomes the problem that you will wonder what else there is to talk about," observes one agent.
Finding something to talk about isn"t a problem for some agents.
"My wife and I have worked together for the past six years and it has been great. We tell our clients that they are getting two agents for the price of one. Often, when I don"t get along with a client, she does - and vice-versa. We spend a lot of time together (no need to catch up at the end of the day with each others" lives. but...you need not only to be husband/wife, but also business partners and best friends."
To successfully partner with a spouse, successful managers and agents advise:
Have clearly defined job descriptions and responsibilities. The idea is to double your output in the same amount of time. Learn to "work smart" and only double team where it is most effective - listing presentations, open houses, and closings. Go your separate ways on most other duties. Only one of you at a time needs to handle the mail, answer calls, make appointments, create flyers, etc. Manage your schedule so that one of you can do "office work" while the other has to be somewhere else, like a showing. Your customers and clients should have the feeling that they can always reach one of you.
Give up control. If a job belongs to one person, let him/her do it. Don"t hover, criticize or take over. Use the time instead to make progress in another area. There is always something else that needs doing.
Watch the criticism. No one is going to do everything perfectly, not even your spouse. Be careful of how you deliver criticism. Do it in private and with kindness, and never in front of someone else. Also be careful of how you talk about your spouse to others. Making fun of your spouse"s abilities may give you some comic relief, but it does little to inspire confidence from others. Does the rest of the office or your clients really need to know that your wife/husband stinks on the computer or is bad at numbers? And that goes for personal remarks, too. As a team, it is part of your job to present a united front.
Be flexible. As one partner shows more ability and promise in one area, let him/her take that area as a prime responsibility. If you both excel at some jobs, all the better. There is no reason there can"t be two great negotiators, two great computer geniuses, or two customer service-oriented principals. Ideally, you should cross-train each other so that the business can run smoothly no matter who is at the helm.
Actively work to develop new skills. If neither of you are good at the Internet, one of you, if not both, needs to learn to digitally transmit photos and documents, e-mail your farm, and update your Web page. Is advertising a weakness? Would you like to learn to speak a foreign language? Would one of you like to become a broker? A buyer"s agent? The possibilities are endless for bringing skills together that make your spousal team unique.
Don"t pull rank. Does it even need to be said? To make the business run smoothly, all jobs must be considered equally important. It doesn"t matter that one spouse has more or less experience, if you are the one on duty, don"t leave crummy work that obviously has to be done for your partner. If the trash is full while you are at the desk, empty it - it doesn"t matter whether you are the top producer or not.